How do I get out of annoying wine tasting parties?

Dear Rosezilla:

I have this friend who I used to hang out with a lot in college. We don't have that much in common any more, but she still wants to hang with me all the time. That would be okay, but her friends are really lame. She keeps asking me to wine tasting parties with all her married friends who act like I'm a leper because I'm not married with kids. She lives in Eagan. Enough said.

I would just like to blow her off, but another really good friend is relying on her to provide her with cheap plane tickets for her wedding in six months. She's begged me to at least stay on good terms with her for a while longer. (Of course, being engaged my friend doesn't have to suffer the same level of scrutiny and hell that I do at these wine tastings.) Help. I have another one of these wine tastings coming up soon. Can you help me with an excuse?

Thanks,
Anne in St. Paul

Dear Anne,

It seems to me that you've got a golden opportunity here! I gathered from your letter that you two aren't so much "friends", as that she enjoys a warm body for her new hobby, wine tasting. Therefore, you don't have to find an excuse not to spend time with her, but with wine. Here is a brief list of reasons you can't come to her next wine tasting:

• Finding out you have a red wine allergy
• Any number of infections: Lyme disease, ear, MRSA, strep, which requires you to take a long course of antibiotics. You can't mix antibiotics and alcohol!
• People taking Accutane are encouraged not to drink alcohol
• People with Mono can't drink, as well as certain types of diabetes
• People on certain anti-depressants can't drink (for the sake of appearances, a simple 'oh, I've started some new medication and can't drink' should suffice.)

In the meantime, call or email at least once a month to invite her to something you really, really like to do. Either she'll come and you may actually find you have something in common, or she won't, and you'll still be a Friend in Good Standing.

Depending on how tight-knit your friend circle is, you should probably lean towards the antibiotics/medications excuse. As good as the "red wine allergy" white lie is, you don't want to be paranoid about drinking Cabernet in public for the rest of your life.