How Do I have A Vaginal Orgasm?

Dear Rosezilla I am a 29 year old female and I have never had an orgasm during sex. I can make myself come on my own but I can never during intercourse. I am slightly over weight but eat healthy and workout. I have read that not being healthy can decrease your changes in having an orgasm. I know that a lot of it is in my head because of what happened to me when I was younger. But I would like to get past it and actually come. Please help. Unsatisfied in Brooklyn

Dear Unsatisfied,

First, know that you are not alone. Vaginal orgasms are really rare and a large percentage of women don't have them ever, including me. There's some perception out there that clitoral orgasms are just "ok", whereas vaginal is going to make you blackout and have visions of walking on the ocean with Jesus. I'm skeptical. To me, it seems like a lot of work for similar results.

From my extensive research, vaginal orgasms happen late in life, at absolute random. Read about 2 such experiences here and here. So, I say do nothing. If you lay there, it will come. Or it won't, no biggie.

To protect myself from being accused of giving a cop-out answer, here's some resources that may or may not help:

Wellness/Tantric Retreats:
Omega: Retreat Center
Tantra Retreat on St. John
Costa Rica Tantra Retreat
Intimacy Retreats

Sex Therapy in New York:
sextherapyny.com
NY Times Article